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I fell off: Taking life by the balls

Guys, it has been a tumultuous semester. I set myself up for failure and burned out halfway throughout the semester. There is this thing in life called hiccups and it happens to the best and the worst of us. What happens next is all about the decisions you make afterward.

I thought I had it all figured out, but life teaches me time and time again to prepare for the worst.

So if you guys read my blog on Confessions of a Nobody Blogger, you would see that life was looking up for me once I let go of everything.

Then I realized, OH SHIT! How will I make money? Ok yes bartending life was great, but it started to jeopardize my health, safety, sanity, and worst of all the money slowed down. I was still interning at a nonprofit organization. Intern= no pay, although provided great experiences.

I had just got accepted into and extremely exclusive program at school, which I decided I should go full time for the first time. BAD IDEA. I did not realize the amount of papers I had to write, events I had to go to, and reading that was assigned. I figured I could just “wing it.” Not with upper level classes you don’t.

With the amount of time that I spent interning, working and going to school, I was hemorrhaging money from my savings. Everything that I had saved for the past 2 years was running dangerously low. I knew I had to get another part time job. I got so sick and tired of filling out applications that I dragged my feet, applied to 3 jobs and accepted the first one to hire me.

He hired me on the spot! I did not realize the eagerness to replace someone at the time. In retrospect, I should have seen the signs. Most of my new co-workers were there because the just needed extra cash. They didn’t have to pay much rent and did not have a lot of other activities to fill up their day as I did. I was now basically working three jobs, going to school full time, and still upholding single mother title.

I would leave my house at 8a.m., drop my son to school, go to my internship, leave by two, head to school, then straight to my one job at the taco joint, until about 9 or 10 p.m., shower, and get to my bartending job as soon as possible. I would not get home until 4 a.m.! Then wake up at seven and do it all over again. How did I sleep, get homework done, work out? How did I do it all?

Truth is… I didn’t.

I would sleep at lunch. I did my homework on my phone. There were times I didn’t eat because I was scared I would get the “itis” and fall asleep. One time I fell asleep on the toilet at work and was there for over and hour. Needless to say I was written up. My son became family with the babysitter. I cancelled my trainer. I was always tired and irritated, and my love life… forget about it.

One day, I sat down and realized that I was working harder, not smarter. I put too much on my plate and I was being pulled in every direction. I could not believe, I put myself in this position. At this point, any move that I made would affect me drastically and my son even worse. Bills were barely being paid and we got used to eating take out quite frequently. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. I should have prepared myself instead of just telling myself it would work out.

My last chance was putting in an application with Public Allies. I was taking time out of my schedule going to interviews, that I wasn’t even sure why I needed a fourth job. On my last interview, my car started overheating. It never did that before. I literally screamed out FUCK IT!!!! FUCK THIS!!! I started to recite my little spiel on how my life was too hectic to take on another responsibility. As I mustered up the courage to call the managers, my phone rang. I rolled my eyes. Great! Another interview! Just what I F***ing needed.

I was the coordinator of the program. I was offered a job, so I took it. I was not clear on the amount of power that I stumbled upon. Prior to working at my internship, I was not aware of this chapter of AmeriCorps. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what AmeriCorps was. I just began to quit everything again. I quit my bartending job because I hate the night scene. I quit the taco joint which was basically volunteer work in my book. And I dropped everything possible.

I turns out this opportunity was everything I needed. STABILITY! FINALLY!!! Everything that I needed. Everything my son needed was all in that leap of faith. It’s a 9 to 5 job, that provides a sense of community within my class, and certifications and skill building. I am also given the opportunity to give back by developing a program to break the cycle of poverty.

Having a realistic schedule helped things fall into place!

I was less sick. I had more time for leisure. I was able to turn my F’s in school to C’s and B’s (too late for A’s.) My son was happy again. I felt relieved. I had time to eat better. I have not fully joined the gym back again. I need to pace myself and catch up with work that has been piling up and catch up on community service hours.  And of course CURLYBAE! DUH!!

I am satisfied and I can finally breathe stress free! Adulting is not easy, here is how you can survive even the most extreme changes!

  • Don’t freak out!
  • Do not borrow money.
  • Re-evaluate your life. If it’s draining you, find an alternative!
  • Be adaptable. Act fast.
  • Have at least two back up plans.
  • If those back up plans do not work, learn to think on your feet.
  • Always have $500 put away somewhere, even if it is on a little rush card or credit card!
  • Network! Meet new people and make up with old friends ( that are not toxic.)
  • Say yes to forward moving opportunities.
  • Let go of any dead end restrictions that may be holding you back from moving forward.
  • Unplug from the world. Comparing yourself to others when you are down is playing psychological terrorism on your self esteem and psyche.
  • Admit when you are overwhelmed. Talk about it. You never know who would be touched by your story and will be compelled to help.
  • ASK FOR HELP!
  • Do a life cleanse. Coming soon!!!

Love you guys so much! Congrats to Tiffany and Monet for being the winners on my last two giveaways. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel! More giveaways to come!

If there is a topic you want me to touch on, email me at theofficialcurlybae@gmail.com

Besos,

CurlyBaesign out

 

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