How the Big Chop Boosted My Confidence

What’s wrong with embracing the Fro?

Your hair is your reigning glory. Without it behaving in a manner that you desire, you feel unattractive. In the American society, type 4 hair is aesthetically unappealing. Why is that?

I literally was texture-bashed. “Oh you have black hair..” like that’s a bad thing. Excuse me sir or ma’am, I AM black. And what is it to you? You don’t have to comb it. The worst part is, I was getting this from people with the SAME TEXTURE OF HAIR!!! *rolls eyes* Moving on.

Prior to the big chop, I spent hours, no, years wasting time and money ensuring my hair was perfect. When we turn on the television and see women whose edges are not “slayed” or “laid”, they are labeled unkempt.

Maybe we aren’t meant to uphold that image. We were born different because this is what makes us unique. Girls with curly hair do not conform to a normal standard because no curl pattern is the same.

I went from processed straight hair which was fragile, to now bad ass effortless hair and I am glad I made that step. I feel more free, giving up my high maintenance routine. I am a minimalist. I am a naturalista.

We should not bash one another for not conforming to a specific standard. A mold was created to make us robots. This mold was made to squeeze your pockets dry. The mold was created to emotionally, financially, and physically cripple us. Individualism in America is a joke.

For me, going natural is not a trend. Going natural for me was a weight off my shoulders. Living healthier. Being comfortable in my own skin.

I remember when I would relax my hair, the minute my hair got wet, or my edges did not lay right it was literally a disaster. Now, I can walk in the rain, no worries. I embraced my frizz. I love my fro.

I have always been asked how did I transition. Trust me it was not easy. I was still trying to hold on to everything that held me back from my journey.

I stopped perming my hair and did the keratin treatments. That made my chest hurt and my hair static-y and my roots were still puffy.

Then I embraced the half wig option, this was my life saver… However, because I never been committed to learning about weaves and wigs. Let’s just be honest. I looked a HOT MESS!!!! Because it did not dawn upon me to use curly textured weaves to blend in with my edges. Duh! Tashea!!!!

straight hair mess

Chile! I did that for a few months. I became so self-conscious that I could not ever leave the house without my 30-dollar wig!

This was becoming embarrassing. Kind of like a man with a receding hairline and still wants to wear braids. Like dude, your braids are now starting at your crown. GIVE IT UP!!!

None the less, once I gave that up it was smooth sailing. I held on to my ends for a while, but then I just chopped it off.



I tried many stages, but this one gave me a fresh start.

I remember showing up to work for the first time with my freshly cut mane. My head was shaped so weird. I got many weird looks and I felt out of place and uncomfortable.

So I went outside and picked the most beautiful flower, because I thought that it would brighten up my face. Then I heard a voice say, “Man, if you don’t get that dusty flower off of that bald ass head of yours…”

I swallowed every inch of pride and realized that I could not impress everyone. I don’t think at any point of my life I ever did.

From that moment on, there were no more rebuttals. I was living for myself. I look how I want to look. And I am unapologetic if my hair is a bit greasy from too much coconut oil, I am unapologetic for my untamed edges. And I damn sure am unapologetic for embracing what I was born with.


paddleboarding 5
Me enjoying life at Hull Bay in St. Thomas with Jen!


paddleboarding with jen
Epic Fail at Paddleboarding.
Finally faced my fears!

Regardless of what you decide to do. If you relax your hair, wear weaves, put on makeup religiously, we all know how we would like to look. What makes us comfortable.
Nothing will ever be more attractive that being comfortable in your own skin and living for yourself.

natural hair efex
Photo Credit: Efex Photography

Hope this helps you with your journey.





6 thoughts on “How the Big Chop Boosted My Confidence”

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